It happened to me; out of seemingly no where, the jealous bitch that resides deep within me reared her head and spewed rage all upon me. It was a nasty, slimly, green feeling of resentment, disappointment, bitterness mixed in with jealousy and it took me over like an alien had entered my body.
Holy smokes she took me by surprise, she highjacked my sensibility and along with that took hostage my normal tendencies of support, appreciation, empowering others, being happy for others success. Also hostage were kindness and compassion. Instead what was there was a nasty, mean, belittling judgment.
Oh it was ugly and I fell victim to it like I was taken down at the knees. It was like a wild manche was let loose within my being. She was stomping and screaming and throwing things like tantrums all the while I had to sit down and be with all that was happening within me.
I let her rant and rage, and I created space within me to observe what was happening. I created a container, so that I could feel it and let it burn through its course without going outer and hurting someone.
It burned, it crazed, it moved through my body, leaving nothing unturned. The only thing I had the capacity to do was to know that this was not the truth of me, that it was an old energy that was being processed. It was triggered by something relatively small that I had judgment about. The judgment took hold and grew. I had feelings of righteousness and superiority. I went all snooty and prideful and that’s when it happened. Those thoughts and emotions became the fuel for the jealous bitch to rise up and fly.
Luckily for me, I’ve had enough work, enough practice, enough surrender of the emotional body that I did know to sit tight. Well I gave my body movement and therefore room for the energy to flow, knowing that if I tried to contain this it would eat me up.
It’s like corralling a wild horse, at first you have to give it a wide berth, lots of room to run and jump and thrash. Eventually, it will calm down, eventually it will wear itself out enough to settle a bit.
In the emotional healing and clearing work that I offer, once the settling begins to happen there is a process of looking and communicating with that aspect of yourself to see what has been triggered, what the trigger was and what the core beneath it is.
For me, it was a disappointment in myself, I’ve been half-heartedly trying to accomplish something and truth be told, wasn’t giving it my all and I was feeling off about it. So when this other person showed up in my awareness, doing what I had thought I had wanted to do, but without the background or expertise that I have professionally, it got me.
My jealous bitch was cleared to go, and go she did. Once she settled down a bit I was able to discern the issue and the underlying causes of the outburst.
Knowing that I was able to talk her down, not so much with reason, but with acknowledgment, allowing and accepting that she is part of me. Sure, she is usually hidden, but we all have all the emotions, it’s in our human blueprint.
The gift that my jealous bitch gave to me was ultimately an energetic healing, a vibratory upleveling and the fuel to do what I’d been wanting the universe to do for me, to take the action I’d been avoiding and get off my own high horse and down into the streets.
I was able to find that peaceful, serene place within me, the place that opens me to authentic and productive action.
I’d love to hear how and when your jealous bitch shows her face and how you navigate with her. If you’d like some assistance, I’d love to help. Click here to schedule a consultation call.
In-Joy and With Ease,
Aliza Bloom Robinson, author, speaker, vibrational catalyst; touches hearts, frees souls and transforms lives through her simple yet profound programs and courses. She is the author of the #1 Amazon Best Selling book, Falling Into Ease – Release Your Struggle and Create a Life You Love, and the companion Guidebook. Join the fb community Falling Into Ease for daily tips, ideas, coaching and more!